I’ve debated writing a blog for several years. I’ve often heard that I have the skills necessary to write one. And yet, I haven’t. Until now. Why is that? Several reasons.
Fear.
I’ll cut right to it. The number one reason I have put off starting my own blog is fear. This one encompasses nearly every excuse I’ve had for not blogging. Fear of failure. What if no one reads what I write? What if my writing isn’t interesting? What if I’m not any good at creating my own content? I find it easy to tell other’s stories, but can I tell my own? And tell it well?
Fear has kept me in my comfort zone long enough. If I’m honest, it hasn’t been all that comfortable lately. So, it’s time to take a leap of faith and act. You overcome fear by doing.
Technology.
Those who know me personally know that technology is not always my friend. There have been plenty of jokes made about this over the years. My husband’s computer is working fine…until I walk into the room. Then it crashes and needs to restart (true story). It’s like technology senses my presence. Can anyone relate? I have a love-hate relationship with it. The things it can do are awesome! And I love that robots can clean my floors. But for some reason, it never wants to work properly for me. I follow instructions perfectly, and it won’t work. My husband does the exact same thing I just did a moment before, and it works. I don’t understand it, and it leaves me frustrated.
Given this phenomena, managing my own website for fun sounded more like torture to me. I’d rather write in a journal, even if it meant keeping my story to myself. However, I do happen to be married to a technological genius who just so happens to make his living from building websites and apps. This excuse has quickly fallen by the wayside, especially once I began using WordPress professionally. My interactions with technology have improved (out of necessity) over the years, but it’s still not my preference.
Time.
There’s never enough time in a day. It doesn’t matter if you have a full time office job, work part-time, or manage a home. Add a family to the mix, and the time for hobbies, interests, and self care seems to just disappear.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this year, it’s that my family is only as healthy as I enable them to be. By that, I mean that as their parent and spouse, I have a greater influence over their mental, social, and emotional well being than anyone else. How can I inspire them to their best self if I am not my best self? I can’t give what I don’t have. If I am not taking the time to pursue my hobbies and passions, I’m left unfulfilled and my family knows it. I am tired of losing myself. I’m tired of “only being a wife and mom.” I’m ready to be me again.
Laziness.
I’ve had to admit to myself recently that I struggle with laziness. This was hard to do. I always considered myself a hard worker. I put strong effort into my work- whether it’s writing pieces for a company, telling stories for a nonprofit, creating interviews, lesson plans, or preparing lesson materials, I go above that status quo. An average observation score from my principals would have been upsetting to me. I drive myself to stand out from the crowd, which is perhaps why admitting to laziness was difficult for me. Then I heard the term “lazy perfectionist” and it made sense. I’m not what you think of when you think of a traditional perfectionist (I’m okay with “good enough.”), but I still strive to stand out and be better. If I’m afraid I can’t stand out or be better, I’m often too lazy to try. Which made me wonder, can I really say that I am willing to take on challenges if I only attempt those within my comfort zone? Is that really a challenge?
Jealousy.
Jealousy seems like an odd reason to start a blog, doesn’t it? Feelings of jealousy helped to persuade me that this is needed. I have many friends who are also gifted with writing skills. I’ve stood in the shadows, watching their careers soar or watching them start blogs. While I openly cheered for them and their success, I had to acknowledge the part of me that wanted the same thing. I’d tell myself I don’t have time, or I’m not that eloquent, scroll past and move on. That’s the beauty of social media isn’t it? Keep scrolling and stop thinking. Of course, this just fed the discontent I was feeling. Eventually you need to acknowledge the feelings, push past the fear and do something.
So here I am. Utilizing my life experiences and passions to share the story of me, my family, our homeschooling journey, and whatever other antics we happen upon. One thing is for certain- our family doesn’t stay boring for long! Hopefully you will laugh with us. Maybe you will learn a few things. Most importantly, I hope you will walk away feeling encouraged, even inspired, to take on something new. Perhaps it will be that thing you’ve been afraid of trying until now. You never know, until you try.