Today is one of those days where I have told myself to slow down and breathe…over and over again. My mind races a thousand miles a minute, and I get upset when my family can’t keep up. (Never mind I haven’t filled them in on the day’s agenda- that’s another story.) It doesn’t help when I keep changing my agenda based on what I see from my family. It’s the blessing of homeschooling…and the bane too.
Flexibility and going with the flow is an amazing perk about homeschooling. But for the checklist Mama, it can be a thorn in your side. I know. I like my lists and my check marks. I like having a plan, knowing how long our lessons will take, and organizing my day accordingly. I can make simple adjustments to meet my kid’s needs, but throwing the whole agenda out the window makes me hyperventilate a little.
This has been one of those weeks where there is no plan, which also causes me to hyperventilate. I think that there should be at least a semblance of a plan, and if we can at least do a page of our math books, spelling books, and read one of our stories together, I can call the day a win and not a total loss. And then I enter a whole other conversation with myself about what is a “win” and “loss” in homeschooling anyways? Who determines that but myself, or my children? The homeschooling journey is unique to each family, which is why it is so beautiful, so challenging, so messy.
Today I want to focus on flexibility in homeschooling. What is it, and what does it look like?
Webster’s dictionary defines flexibility as “easily changes, willing to change or try new things, or capable of bending or being bent.” Great. Now, how does that apply to homeschool?
If we take the first definition of flexibility: easily changes, and combine that with the second definition of being willing to change or try new things, we can begin to picture what this looks like in home education. I love the planning of educational units and activities. I can create grand schemes, plans, ideas and get very excited to study these topics with my students. What I have found is that the application of the plans rarely looks like the grand ideas I had in my head, whether it’s in a classroom full of kids, a co-op, or my own children. This is one of the beautiful components of education, but can also cause some disillusionment on my end. Now, let’s apply the idea of flexibility and the homeschool environment. If I start with the educational goal, and have a plan of how to get there, but expect that my students will respond differently and leave room in the plan for their own creative educational processes, the end result ought to be a beautiful combination of learning through my guidance and their own exploration. Flexibility in homeschooling can be as simple as that: having a learning goal and a generic plan that invites the learner into the process.
Flexibility in homeschooling can also be much more. It can be what this past week has been for my family. It started with our usual routine of math, spelling, reading, history and science work. Then, my husband had a scheduled operation later in the week. This was planned, and I knew we would be taking some time off school to help my husband through his recovery. What I wasn’t prepared for was the effect that multiple days of being trapped inside (thanks bad weather) plus the need to maintain quiet so he could rest had on my kids. When it came time to attempt schooling again, we experienced what I initially called a disaster. Our school room/playroom had been left in shambles, and I can’t think in a messy room, much less lead lessons. This led to de-cluttering the school area, which led to de-cluttering the bedrooms, which ended with everyone playing outside before our emotions got the best of us. Not one lesson had been started. And I learned to be okay with that. I hadn’t realized how the week had affected my children emotionally. I had been so caught up in my husband’s care and my own emotional fortitude that I had overlooked them. They were amazing troopers throughout the week- playing together, minimizing their fights, looking after the little ones. And yet, they experienced their own emotional stressors too. After several hours outdoors, we ate dinner, went about our nightly routine, and once they were in bed, I reflected.
It is very unlike me to throw the agenda out the window. I’m not okay discarding an agenda, especially when it pertains to their education. The former teacher in me kept reminding myself of all the times the agenda was scrapped in public school. Fire drill! Tornado drill! Lock-down drill! (Yes, those happened monthly in Florida, thanks to a law passed after the Parkland school shooting). Those took a significant portion of class time, if not all of class. And the students still performed about the same as their peers across the state when it came time for testing (which is how public schools measure success), so clearly a lost day or lost time here and there doesn’t have a significant impact.
There is so much to unpack here- I’m going to start with the “lost time” stigma. In public school, anything that takes away from the lesson plan is lost time. I either have to rush through a plan or cut it short knowing there’s a fire drill the last ten minutes of class. Or I have to adjust my plans so that the class that practices the lock down doesn’t fall too far behind the other classes. That’s not the case with homeschooling. I have no agenda to complete, or benchmarks to meet. My primary goal is to guide my children in wisdom and knowledge. To help them see how wonderful the world is and to love learning. I don’t believe that there is “lost time” in the homeschooling world. If anything, we reclaim their childhoods. We reclaim education in it’s purest form. If these are our goals, then flexibility is a must. It requires us to be in tune with our emotions and our children’s. If they aren’t in the right mood, a change of plans may be necessary for them and for us. If we aren’t in the right mindset, we can cause more harm than good by continuing with “the plan.” Sometimes, we need a change of plans. We need flexibility. We need breathing room. And homeschooling allows that. It’s the beauty of homeschooling. There is no lost time, only relationships regained, rebuilt, and reinforced. A “lost day” spent playing outside, or running errands and taking care of a family member has more life lessons and bonding moments packed into it than a lost day in the public schools.
This past week has shown me the incredible need for flexibility in homeschooling. Perhaps most importantly, I learned that I can do it- I can scrap a day of lessons to attend to my children’s hearts and even my own heart. And the world didn’t stop. We were all better for it. We continued with our lessons the following day, and all was well. I found the courage I needed to do what I had heard and read about from other homeschool mamas. Going off course may seem scary, but so is taking full responsibility for your children’s education. How do you practice flexibility in your homeschooling?