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In my last blog, I described our journey to homeschooling, and how we discovered Charlotte Mason. Today I want to tell you what that looks like for us. My kids are still in elementary, and I still consider us homeschool novices, but one thing I’ve learned thus far in our journey is that the homeschool journey is like a river, constantly changing, ebbing and flowing with the tides and seasons. This river in constant motion can throw even the most seasoned, “expert” homeschool families for an unexpected loop. Embracing the changes helps to keep the course.

Kids are naturally curious. This curiosity is the gateway to learning. The wise teacher leans into this. I like to picture Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. To the untrained eye, it appears that the students are running the show, but look carefully, and what do you notice? Ms. Frizzle had carefully crafted her questions and statements to lead the students in the direction she wanted them to go. Ultimately, they discovered and learned the concept Ms. Frizzle had planned for them before class even started. And the learning happened in such an authentic way that there was no doubt the students understood the concept. They could confidently recreate and explain it. This is what I strive for. Genuine, authentic, true learning.

Now, I’m not suggesting that we find a magic bus that can grow, shrink, or transform. But we can create authentic learning opportunities for our children here, in our homes and schools. It takes careful planning, skill, and a wise and patient teacher. (I’m still working on this! I probably always will be.)

Last term, my 8 year old read A Drop of Water by Walter Wick. This is such a neat book. It teaches you everything you ever wanted to know about water and the water cycle, while guiding you through hands on experiments that can be done in your kitchen with basic supplies. We had so much fun reading a few paragraphs about condensation, then watching condensation form on a glass. When it was foggy the next morning, she noticed the condensation on the window while eating breakfast. A real life, real world application was made from yesterday’s reading. She understood a new aspect of water. The next week, we read about surface tension and how it works. Then we learned to defy surface tension by floating a pin in a bowl of water. (If you haven’t tried this, you should.) Every time the pin fell, it was a chance to explain surface tension again. When she finally got the pin to float, there were happy squeals, along with a new understanding of how surface tension works. She was able to compare her failings to her success and see the forces at work. The next time we passed a boat floating on a river, she commented about the boat breaking the surface tension, and another connection was made, along with opportunities to discuss buoyancy. Natural curiosity, fueled by patient and wise teachers, leads to effective and authentic learning.

But what does that look like, when you have a book list and lesson plans to complete? Great question. For my family, it means leaving margin. My children need time and freedom to find their curiosities, and to explore them. This generally occurs outside of our scheduled school routine. During our school routine, I ask questions that spark them to discover more, or give a hint, a preview, a delicious appetizer of what they will be reading about today. Their job becomes uncovering and devouring the material to discover the rest of the hidden information.

Books are our teachers. I guide. I direct. I help. But the books are the true teachers. We follow the Ambleside Online schedule, which means reading the books slowly, over the course of twelve weeks, or longer in some cases. Reading the books at a slow, gradual pace allows room for them to meditate upon the ideas in the book. When they can think about, ruminate, mull over the ideas presented to them, they can better understand and relate that information to the world around them. Giving them time with characters, stories, and ideas is much like seeping a tea bag. The longer you let it seep, the stronger the tea. It’s always fun to listen as the kids connect different ideas or experiences with something from their school books.

Currently, my 8 year old is reading A Ray of Light, by Walter Wick. The ideas are complex and difficult for her to explain, so she will draw a picture of the concept. When I ask her about her picture, she’s able to explain the concept and summarize the chapter perfectly. It takes a few extra minutes and some crayons for the ideas to ruminate and come together in her mind, but when they do, it’s beautiful to watch. She examines sun beams closer now, and notices reflections where she wouldn’t have before. Sitting with ideas, taking books slowly, allows for greater connection between ideas. Connections lead to authentic learning. The stronger the connections, the more curiosity and wonder follow. The greater a child’s sense of wonder and curiosity, the more they desire to engage with the world around them. Engagement leads to learning. Authentic learning.

My first year of homeschooling my children, I was afraid to commit to anything. We were homeschooling because there was a global pandemic and school schedules were unreliable. Our children needed consistency, and we knew the only way that would happen was if we pulled them from school and created consistency ourselves. Which meant I became their teacher. This situation left me unwilling to commit to expensive curriculum or specialized programs. I wasn’t confident that homeschooling was for us, and didn’t want to spend large amounts of time or money for a temporary situation.

That first year, I dug into my old teacher tricks. I looked up the state standards for my kids, and planned units around them. I was afraid of them falling behind their public school peers. I was constantly asking other homeschool families what they were using or doing and playing the comparison game. That’s an exhausting game to play, friends. Every seasoned homeschooler will tell you that there is no comparison in home education, because every family and every child is so unique. You can study the same topics, and the kids will retain and apply that information in their own unique ways. This was a hard one for me to accept. I still maintained a public school mindset of testing, and standards assessment. Yes, the kids are unique and that’s amazing, and the curriculum should be flexible, but every child also has the same benchmarks, and those matter. Or so I thought.

As that first year came to a close, we had come to appreciate many things about the homeschool lifestyle. My younger daughter was thriving under our care. The consistency of providing a stable environment was exactly what she needed. I also think she needed more of us. My older daughter was adjusting. She still missed the people at her school, but she didn’t complain about our new home routine. The next goal was to build her social circle back up, so she could feel seen and loved outside of home too.

So, we homeschooled the next year too. This was when I realized that homeschooling was likely to be our path for the foreseeable future. If that was true, then I started questioning my current teaching method. If returning to public school wasn’t likely, then teaching by the standards wasn’t necessary, which opened up an overwhelming amount of curriculum sources. I also felt comfortable deviating from state standards because my school district allows homeschoolers to test with the public schools every spring. My oldest tested that first year, and her results confirmed our decision to homeschool, while bolstering my confidence in curriculum choice.

Which brings us to every homeschool family’s great decision: choosing a curriculum. I was willing to invest in a great option for our family, but I had to find what that was. I was intrigued by Gather Round and their whole family unit study approach, as this closely matched what I had been doing on my own. My husband wasn’t convinced this was best for us though, so I kept looking. We tried some sample units from The Good and the Beautiful. I love their overall philosophy towards education, but we found some of the science units that we tried to be lacking in content. A friend gave my their kindergarten math book, and we have been enjoying that. I found myself overwhelmed by trying to assess the quality of the subjects and units online. I know many families use these curriculum and love it. It just didn’t seem to match what I was looking for.

The harder part was that I couldn’t define what I was looking for. I didn’t want a boxed curriculum. I wanted something alive- hands on. I definitely didn’t want a textbook that the kids would never look at again and would want to sell as soon as they were done. I started thinking about buying good quality books that would invite them into history and science. My kids love to read. It’s hard to keep enough books to satiate their curiosity. We frequently visit the library. I knew some well chosen, interesting books, would excite them for school. I didn’t know how to identify these books, but I wanted to try.

Since I was still trying to figure out our curriculum, but knew we needed a stop gap for the in between, I signed us up for Easy Peasy’s free online curriculum. It was enjoyable, and gave us daily guidance on what to do. I supplemented and took content even deeper by adding library books. Having this daily rhythm also gave me time to figure out what I wanted for my kids’ education before I invested in anything. I’ve said it before, and I will continue to say it: the best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is figure out your educational method. What are your goals? What do you want them to achieve, and receive from their education? Once you’ve identified these, it’s time to read up on popular educational pedagogies, such as unschooling, Montessori, Waldorf, Classical, Charlotte Mason, unit studies, or eclectic. Knowing which method works for you and your kids will help guide your homeschool and curriculum choices. I cannot stress this point enough.

As I read about and learned about each method, there were parts from nearly all methods that I valued. I discovered that Charlotte Mason approach aligned most closely with what I had naturally desired for my kids, except she had names and labels for my ideas. Hello living books! My hunch that I could provide a strong education by providing interesting and well written books for my kids was correct! Charlotte Mason also relies on time outside, something that we were already doing, and was also important to me. Overall, Charlotte Mason checked more of my desired boxes than other pedagogies, so I began to learn more about this method. The more I learned, the more I bought in. It’s simple, rich, beautiful, and customizable while still challenging students.

Now that I new which method I wanted, curriculum choices became easier. Many of the popular ones were eliminated. I went back to my original idea of choosing living books to create my own curriculum, but this thought again overwhelmed me. Then, a friend told me about Ambleside Online. As I explored their website, I found a treasure trove of curriculum waiting for me. The wonderful advisory board members had spent who knows how many hours of their own free time to assemble a living book list for 12 school years. Beyond that, they had broken the books into a 36 week plan, detailed down to the chapter (or page number) of what to read when. I found science, history, geography, and literature all planned and waiting for me! Even better, art study, composer study, physical education, and Shakespeare were also included. These were subjects I felt inadequate to teach, and regretted that my kids missed this part of public school education. I don’t feel that way anymore. My kids are learning music through piano lessons, composer study, and monthly folk songs and hymns. They study three artists, their works, style and paintings in depth every year. Ambleside Online has even empowered my to teach my 8 and 10 year olds the biographies from Plutarch’s Lives! My kids truly are receiving a rich, beautiful, full and wonderful education. I believe they will know stories of American and British history better than they would have learned from their elementary school, simply because that is not the goal of the state standards. That goal is to memorize for a test and move on. By living through the historical events with the historical characters, the past becomes more alive and easily remembered. My girls beg to read some of their school books now. (There are still books or subjects they don’t care for, though few and far between.) The change among our family has been beautiful. School is a peaceful time of discovery and expanding our minds. We can easily pack our books and take school on the road, or to a park for the day. School is now a part of our lives, rather than fitting our lives around school. Perhaps my favorite part of embracing the Charlotte Mason method has been that I am spending my money on books that they will be able to read again and again. I’m not buying workbooks that they begrudgingly complete and then throw away. I invest in the books that my oldest will need for that year, and then they are passed down to the others. My money goes much further, enabling us to do more trips and excursions, all while providing a full, challenging, and satisfying education to my children. I’m truly thankful we found this lifestyle, and I’m eager to see what the future holds for us.

Presence. Existing. Being aware of another. Proximity to another.

I’ve been thinking about this word recently. My children require my presence. My family requires my presence. My dog constantly desires my presence (anyone else?). But why? What exactly does presence bring? Or demand?

When I think about presence in education, I immediately think about relationship. An argument can be made that the more present the teacher, the better the student’s educational outcome. Think about your own educational experience. Which teacher did you learn more from- the one who was set in their ways and didn’t change the lesson plan regardless of the day/events/class, or the one who daily, even hourly assessed the class attitude and adjusted plans? Presence isn’t just about fluid lesson plans though. It’s about being in tune with and hearing your students.

The teacher who adjusts lesson plans based on the class needs is the teacher who pays attention to, listens to, and sees their students. When I see Emily struggling to solve the same type of math problem repeatedly, presence means I can come along side her, give her a manipulative, or draw pictures, or break it down differently, until it makes sense. I can meet her where she is, amidst the frustration and tears. A non present teacher gives the assignment and walks away, leaving the student to struggle through it.

Please note, struggle is key to learning. The brain needs to wrestle with new and difficult subjects in order to truly comprehend them. Present teachers don’t negate the struggle. But a present teacher can redirect the student through the struggle, just like I redirect my toddler on a hike. The hike is challenging, but he doesn’t need to stumble over roots and rocks just because they are there. My presence guides him to the easier part of the trail, hopefully saving a few scraped knees and tears along the way. It’s the same in education. A present teacher guides their students in order to save them from unnecessary struggles and frustrations.

There is power in presence. Being near and in tune with your students builds stronger relationships. When students see that their teacher is trustworthy, their teacher cares, their teacher redirects them as needed, a wonderful relationship is able to grow and bloom into something beautiful. It’s cyclical. You respond to your students, they reveal more, you adjust and respond again. They open up even more. Presence is life giving.

I always strove to bring presence to my middle school classroom. Reality is, when you are teaching 100 students, presence with each one is a challenge. But the effort doesn’t go unnoticed. Now, three years into my homeschool, I’m able to bring more of a presence with me to each student. I’d argue that homeschool presence is equally challenging, due to age gaps, but that’s just a different challenge, not a bigger one. Presence in education, in relationships, in life, is a beautiful thing. It lets the receiver know that they are not alone. Someone is beside them and helping them in the struggle. That knowledge alone is encouraging. We can all use more presence.

It had been one of those days…and it was only 9:30 am. I had woken in a good mood, but that quickly spiraled into something else. My toddler was roaming the house before my coffee was ready. The other kids took him being awake as an excuse to come out of their rooms early as well. Before I had tasted one sip of coffee, an endless amount of banter had hit my ears.

“Mommy did you know?”

“Mommy, I had the strangest dream last night.”

“I saw what looked like rain out my window! Is it going to rain soon?”

“I couldn’t sleep because Aiden was loud.”

“I’m a dinosaur! Roar!” Yep, that’s the three year old.

Rather than engage them, I served them cereal then escaped into my phone. Big mistake. I love the momentary release or freedom I get from checking my notifications, but ultimately, choosing to do so in those moments hurts me and hurts them. I get lost in my phone, while the kids continue talking about everything and nothing. I hear them, but I don’t hear them. I’m trying to read and process over them, which is something I have discovered I do not do well. Because I can’t process the information in my hand, I get angry. I yell at them to be quiet. I snap about needing a moment’s peace to drink my coffee. I forget what I’m trying to do. I forget my purpose.

My phone is an amazing distraction. Did you read that last line? I forget my purpose.

Education is about relationship. I have chosen to educate my children at home. I have chosen to build a meaningful and purposeful relationship with each of them. I have chosen to experience wonder, awe, and curiosity with them. I have chosen to open their minds to the beautiful feast of learning available with them, sampling the different subjects together. I have also chosen to hear and know their hearts- the beautiful parts and the ugly ones.

Yet that silly phone has the power to make me forget all of that. A few moments escape, a chance to breathe, often does more harm. Why? Because in those moments, I become consumed. I become irritated by my children’s distractions, and I lose control.

In the chaos, I’m learning to lean in, not turn away. My mind becomes overwhelmed, but it is far better for all of us if I ask one child to explain their statement, or answer their question. It takes more work on my part, but the relational results are better. It’s far better for me to take turns giving each child my full attention for several minutes than it is to withdraw from them.

I’m working to be a mom who invites my children in rather than pushes them away. I’d like to think this extends to those too early and too tired mornings as well. A simple statement of “Mommy is really tired this morning. How about I drink my coffee while you talk to me?” does far more good than my phone ever will for us.

The simple fact I’ve come to recognize is I can’t scroll and pay attention to my kids simultaneously. I don’t like it when other adults do that to me. I can’t justify doing it to my children.

So, here I am, pressing reset. I’m putting the phone down, smelling the coffee as it brews, and listening to the constant chatter my children bring. May I lean into their energy and excitement, and learn to see the world as they do. A fresh spark of wonder could do me some good.

Here’s to you, educator. Teacher. Parent. To all of the crazy, and all of the wonder our students bring. May you also press reset, and lean into your student’s world with fresh perspective.

When I first started homeschooling, the constant worry I held was “Is it enough?” Will my kids learn everything they need to know, when they need to know it? Am I doing too much, or too little? I don’t want to burden them, or wear them out.

Reflecting on this thought, I recall having the same concern as a public school teacher. Am I teaching them enough? Will they be prepared for the test? Did I miss a standard? Perhaps this concern of “enough” is innate to education. Maybe that’s because the learning process never stops- there’s always more to see, more to do, explore, wonder. It’s easy to overwhelm the mins of the teacher by questioning id “all” the wonder and exploration was taught- which of course the answer is a resounding no! Wonder isn’t something to be taught, as much as it is something to nurture, to grow. Fan the flames of wonder, and let the child follow those flames to the bonfire of learning. When this occurs, the child does the work, while the teacher simply encourages. Is it any wonder then that we teachers are constantly questioning the quantity of what we’ve done? I often think of Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. She asks a questions, gives a guiding thought, then steps back while the students explore that thought. She gives a simple explanation, or thought when needed, but the bulk of the learning is done by the students. And she did enough. They learned what they needed, often more.

Educator, you chose a plan for your students for a reason. You researched it, and made a decision to use it for various reasons. It’s enough. Trust the plan. Implement the plan, follow it, and know that it’s enough. The children are learning, even if you don’t see it. Perhaps especially if you don’t see it.

When you are wrestling with this question of doing enough, it’s equally as important to avoid the trap of comparison, especially for homeschool families. If you and another family are doing the same curriculum, it will still look different in the two homes because your two homes are different. Your families are different, each child is different, and your routines and family rhythms are different. Even when following the same plan, it’s implementation will look different. Isn’t that beautiful? No two family’s journeys will be quite the same because no two families are the same. Education should be flexible, personable, and molded to the individual student. I found that to be true even in the classroom. I could observe amazing lessons from veteran teachers, yet when it came my turn to duplicate that lesson, I couldn’t ignore my personality, or my student’s personalities, and the rhythms we had found within our classroom. I could take ideas or concepts from another teacher’s lessons, but they ultimately had my flair, my spin, my unique style, or they just didn’t go over as well among my students. It’s the same for homeschooling. This diversity in curriculum implementation is so beautiful! I love hearing how other families implement the curriculum I’m following, or how other families chose and implement a curriculum that works with their paces and rhythms. Meeting our student’s needs through the diversity of curriculum choices and implementation styles is so beautiful!

My encouragement to you? If you’ve found your plan, rest in it, trust in it and know that it’s enough. If you’re like me in my first years of homeschooling, you’re still searching for your plan. And that’s okay. Keep researching your options. Keep studying your family, learning your rhythms and what you value. Discover your educational goals, and methods that will help you achieve these goals. Learning about your family and finding your educational goals will help lead you to your plan. Then it’s time to implement….and wait! Rest in that plan implementation. You are doing enough.

The decision to homeschool is simultaneously exhilarating and full of trepidation. Today, I want to talk about some of the fear and ways to minimize it. Making the choice to homeschool often immediately leads to overwhelm. You’re faced with swarms of questions like: What do I do next? How do I choose curriculum? How do I track grades and progress? Do I need to join a co-op?

First things first. There’s no doubt you made the choice to homeschool because there is something you want your child to get from their education that the school system wasn’t providing. What is that thing? What are your educational goals for your family? How do you envision your homeschool? What does a typical school day look like?

Your answers to these questions will influence the rest of your homeschool decisions. Do you want your child to spend more time outdoors? Charlotte Mason and Waldorf philosophies may be of interest to you. Is learning at your child’s pace, rather than a paced curriculum a priority? Montessori, Charlotte Mason, and others check the box.

When I first started homeschooling, I knew of the different learning philosophies, but I didn’t know how they worked or what they valued. I didn’t think they were of great importance to me, as my plan was to do my own thing and my kids would learn as they were led. It was generally successful, but looking back, a lack of an overarching plan made schooling more stressful for me.

That first year, I didn’t know what I was doing. Neither did the world, for that matter. 2020 wasn’t kind in the world of education. I wasn’t convinced that homeschooling would be long term for us, so I wanted to teach the standards and keep my kids on par with their peers, should they re-enroll. I relied on my teaching background, but also found myself resistant to many of the boxed curricula available. I didn’t want to spend large amounts of money on workbooks that would be thrown out at the end of the year. I also didn’t want to just teach to a textbook. I had seen the damage poor writing and dry story telling does throughout my 5 years of teaching in public schools. I wanted my kids to love learning- to find history interesting and compelling, science fascinating and wonderful. This meant they needed to experience these subjects in a real and living way. I knew I wanted to take them on field trips and do science experiments and observe our world using our senses. I incorporated these hands on lessons as I could throughout that first year. I also knew I didn’t need textbooks for my kids to learn history or science. Where hands on experiences weren’t possible, the library filled the gap. I made it my goal to find interesting and engaging nonfiction and fiction books on our current topics of study. Sometimes, I found awesome books that made history come alive. Other times, the books were just as dry as a textbook and were quickly returned. My kids still learned. And I learned about myself, my educational values, and my family’s needs and preferences.

This is what I wish I had known before we decided to homeschool. The longer we homeschooled, and the more I refined our approach to learning, I discovered that my learning preferences align very closely with Charlotte Mason. As I began to read about and inform myself of educational philosophies, I saw a simpler way to plan our homeschool. I realized I wasn’t alone in most of my ideas. I realized that the vision I have my for my children is attainable- thousands have done it before me, and thousands are doing it right now. I also saw my ideas being laid out neatly before me in organized plans for simpler school days. All of this was revolutionary in our decision to continue homeschooling. Now, in our third year of homeschooling, we are thriving. I’m less stressed about curriculum choices. I’m able to help our children discover their passions and encourage their creativity. Perhaps most importantly, my children are interested and engaged in their lessons. The whining about school has nearly disappeared. We enjoy our lessons, and that matters to me!

So, if you are seriously considering beginning a homeschool journey, I highly encourage you to start reading. Read about educational philosophies. Read about implementing these philosophies. Discover your why for homeschooling. Discover what resonates with your soul and nourishes your children’s soul. While I will advocate for the Charlotte Mason method, I also know that every family and every child is unique. It’s so important for you to inform yourself of the various educational methods to find what meets your family’s needs. I know family’s thriving in a Montessori setting, and others who prefer forest school and/or Waldorf settings. There is value in every method, when properly applied to the right family. So start making a book list and read, read, read. It’s ok to change your opinion as you learn more. One of the first books I read about home education many years before even considering homeschooling was The Core by Leigh A Bortins. Many ideas I agreed with. Others I did not. Many ideas helped to shape my thoughts on education. Read about many different philosophies to find and build your family’s philosophy. Determine your educational goals, find your philosophy, then find curriculum and co-ops that fall within your chosen style. Happy Learning!

Some of my recommended reads:

-For the Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer McCauley

-The Call of the Wild and Free by Ainsley Arnett

-Home Education Series by Charlotte Mason

-The Core by Leigh A. Bortins

-The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer

On my List:

-The Brave Learner by Julie Bogart

-Four Hour School Day by Durenda Wilson

-A Thomas Jefferson Education by Oliver DeMille

-The Unhurried Homeschooler by Durenda Wilson

Today is one of those days where I have told myself to slow down and breathe…over and over again. My mind races a thousand miles a minute, and I get upset when my family can’t keep up. (Never mind I haven’t filled them in on the day’s agenda- that’s another story.) It doesn’t help when I keep changing my agenda based on what I see from my family. It’s the blessing of homeschooling…and the bane too.

Flexibility and going with the flow is an amazing perk about homeschooling. But for the checklist Mama, it can be a thorn in your side. I know. I like my lists and my check marks. I like having a plan, knowing how long our lessons will take, and organizing my day accordingly. I can make simple adjustments to meet my kid’s needs, but throwing the whole agenda out the window makes me hyperventilate a little.

This has been one of those weeks where there is no plan, which also causes me to hyperventilate. I think that there should be at least a semblance of a plan, and if we can at least do a page of our math books, spelling books, and read one of our stories together, I can call the day a win and not a total loss. And then I enter a whole other conversation with myself about what is a “win” and “loss” in homeschooling anyways? Who determines that but myself, or my children? The homeschooling journey is unique to each family, which is why it is so beautiful, so challenging, so messy.

Today I want to focus on flexibility in homeschooling. What is it, and what does it look like?

Webster’s dictionary defines flexibility as “easily changes, willing to change or try new things, or capable of bending or being bent.” Great. Now, how does that apply to homeschool?

If we take the first definition of flexibility: easily changes, and combine that with the second definition of being willing to change or try new things, we can begin to picture what this looks like in home education. I love the planning of educational units and activities. I can create grand schemes, plans, ideas and get very excited to study these topics with my students. What I have found is that the application of the plans rarely looks like the grand ideas I had in my head, whether it’s in a classroom full of kids, a co-op, or my own children. This is one of the beautiful components of education, but can also cause some disillusionment on my end. Now, let’s apply the idea of flexibility and the homeschool environment. If I start with the educational goal, and have a plan of how to get there, but expect that my students will respond differently and leave room in the plan for their own creative educational processes, the end result ought to be a beautiful combination of learning through my guidance and their own exploration. Flexibility in homeschooling can be as simple as that: having a learning goal and a generic plan that invites the learner into the process.

Flexibility in homeschooling can also be much more. It can be what this past week has been for my family. It started with our usual routine of math, spelling, reading, history and science work. Then, my husband had a scheduled operation later in the week. This was planned, and I knew we would be taking some time off school to help my husband through his recovery. What I wasn’t prepared for was the effect that multiple days of being trapped inside (thanks bad weather) plus the need to maintain quiet so he could rest had on my kids. When it came time to attempt schooling again, we experienced what I initially called a disaster. Our school room/playroom had been left in shambles, and I can’t think in a messy room, much less lead lessons. This led to de-cluttering the school area, which led to de-cluttering the bedrooms, which ended with everyone playing outside before our emotions got the best of us. Not one lesson had been started. And I learned to be okay with that. I hadn’t realized how the week had affected my children emotionally. I had been so caught up in my husband’s care and my own emotional fortitude that I had overlooked them. They were amazing troopers throughout the week- playing together, minimizing their fights, looking after the little ones. And yet, they experienced their own emotional stressors too. After several hours outdoors, we ate dinner, went about our nightly routine, and once they were in bed, I reflected.

It is very unlike me to throw the agenda out the window. I’m not okay discarding an agenda, especially when it pertains to their education. The former teacher in me kept reminding myself of all the times the agenda was scrapped in public school. Fire drill! Tornado drill! Lock-down drill! (Yes, those happened monthly in Florida, thanks to a law passed after the Parkland school shooting). Those took a significant portion of class time, if not all of class. And the students still performed about the same as their peers across the state when it came time for testing (which is how public schools measure success), so clearly a lost day or lost time here and there doesn’t have a significant impact.

There is so much to unpack here- I’m going to start with the “lost time” stigma. In public school, anything that takes away from the lesson plan is lost time. I either have to rush through a plan or cut it short knowing there’s a fire drill the last ten minutes of class. Or I have to adjust my plans so that the class that practices the lock down doesn’t fall too far behind the other classes. That’s not the case with homeschooling. I have no agenda to complete, or benchmarks to meet. My primary goal is to guide my children in wisdom and knowledge. To help them see how wonderful the world is and to love learning. I don’t believe that there is “lost time” in the homeschooling world. If anything, we reclaim their childhoods. We reclaim education in it’s purest form. If these are our goals, then flexibility is a must. It requires us to be in tune with our emotions and our children’s. If they aren’t in the right mood, a change of plans may be necessary for them and for us. If we aren’t in the right mindset, we can cause more harm than good by continuing with “the plan.” Sometimes, we need a change of plans. We need flexibility. We need breathing room. And homeschooling allows that. It’s the beauty of homeschooling. There is no lost time, only relationships regained, rebuilt, and reinforced. A “lost day” spent playing outside, or running errands and taking care of a family member has more life lessons and bonding moments packed into it than a lost day in the public schools.

This past week has shown me the incredible need for flexibility in homeschooling. Perhaps most importantly, I learned that I can do it- I can scrap a day of lessons to attend to my children’s hearts and even my own heart. And the world didn’t stop. We were all better for it. We continued with our lessons the following day, and all was well. I found the courage I needed to do what I had heard and read about from other homeschool mamas. Going off course may seem scary, but so is taking full responsibility for your children’s education. How do you practice flexibility in your homeschooling?

Congratulations! You’ve made the decision to homeschool. If you’re like me, you’re a combination of excited, nervous, overwhelmed, confused, and uncertain. You’ve probably got a dozen thoughts flying through your head every minute, varying from schedules, to technology use and curriculum choices. I’d like to encourage you to set all those thoughts and emotions aside for a moment. Homeschooling is amazing for you and your children, and the choice you are making is a brave one. I applaud you! Before we explore those emotions and anxieties you are undoubtedly feeling, I want to focus on your why. What made you decide to homeschool? Maybe it had to do with the school system. Maybe you felt that the teachers and staff were not adequately equipped to meet your child’s needs. Maybe it had to do with the stress of morning routines, rushing out the door, and having merely a few hours together before bed time only to repeat it all the next day. Or maybe, it simply had to do with wanting to raise your child at home. Whatever brought you to the decision to homeschool is not quite as important as your why. Your why will see you through on the bad days (and you will have bad days). It’s important to have an anchor to look to on those days- one that will remind you of the bigger picture and help you find your joy in homeschooling once again.

For me, my why began with freedom. Only now, 18 months into my homeschooling journey, am I able to better articulate what this means for my family. Freedom of schedule has been a family value that we have been working towards for the last ten years. We want to decide where we are and when, not have it dictated to us by society or jobs. I realize this is a luxury, as many jobs requite your physical presence. In fact, when my husband presented this idea to me early in our marriage, I’m pretty sure I laughed, thinking it was impossible. I couldn’t see the bigger picture he saw. As he worked relentlessly to improve his skillset and move into better positions, I could begin to see his dream, but still thought that we would have limited freedom of schedule at best. Then came 2020.

Ah yes, 2020- the great homeschool year. My daughters were in kindergarten and first grade when the schools closed. We knew the next school year would be anything but normal, and having a child who needs consistency to feel secure (which translates to feeling loved and able to learn), I knew we would have to homeschool. I didn’t consider virtual school as an option for a 6 and 7 year old. So we plunged into homeschooling, me, a little angry about my children’s losses (no good byes, no end of year activities), frustrated and anxious about the state of our world, and two confused little girls who only wanted to play with their friends again. Those first months were hard. We were all trying to find our groove. Deep down I knew that I know them better than anyone else in this world, which equips me to educate them better than anyone else can. But I couldn’t clearly articulate why home education suddenly became important.

As we adjusted to our new lives, we all began to enjoy our slower routine. The girls asked for pajama days nearly every day, and since we weren’t prone to leaving the house much that year, it was an easy yes. “We get to do school in our pajamas!” came the happy squeals. Well shoot, if that’s all it takes, maybe this homeschooling thing will be doable after all. The longer we homeschool, the more I love it. It’s taken me over a year to say that. I kept thinking maybe in a year or two they’ll go back to public school. Now, I’m not so sure. I don’t want to give up the many benefits of homeschooling we have found this year! During that transitional time, I listened to seasoned homeschool parents who kept saying the same thing: “This year is hard for us too. This is not a normal school year. We are lonelier than usual, and it’s hard.” Perhaps that’s why it took me so long to find my why. Homeschooling during a pandemic is not for the faint of heart! (Shoot, let’s be honest- education during a pandemic is not for the fain of heart. How can you focus on education when the world is sick and dying?) Yet life continues on. So we pushed through. I relied on my teacher training, only to realize my girls were young elementary age, and my experience was with middle school. Two very different age groups with two very different strategies. It was a year of unlearning for us.

Now that we have found our routine, we added in co-ops this year. Perhaps you’ve heard that no man is an island- we’re not meant to do life alone. The same applies to education. Our co-ops have wonderfully enriched the kid’s studies. They are excited to learn, to see their friends, and to explore. It also gives me the chance to connect with other moms in the thick of it, experiencing all the joys and frustrations I am. My kids need their firends, and I need my fellow moms for this journey. We hike together, craft together, read and paint together, play kickball and do sit ups together. We navigate conflict together, laugh and cry together and it is so , so beautiful. Life is beautiful. Which is why I homeschool. I don’t want my kids to spend so much time in a brick building that they miss life. I want them to teach their baby brother new words, watch as their younger brother learns his letters, read to their brothers, create gifts for their cousins using newfound knitting skills, play outside, watch the clouds and the animals, bake with me, and play piano. I want my kids to experience everything, not just be told about or read about it in a history book. This month alone my children have visited Sequoyah’s birthplace, learned about his life and the Cherokee, visited Fort Loudon and learned about the French and Indian War while exploring the fort, dissected a frog, made rice art, learned to loom, and experienced a day of homesteading pioneer style. There are so many enrichment opportunities around us, and not enough weekends or after school hours to fit it in. I am so grateful for the everyday adventures homeschooling affords us.

As an educator, the value of individualized education was constantly driven home. Personalized learning is the most effective, and the way that we were told to prepare for future use. How can each lesson plan be personalized? The answer? In the classroom it can’t. It is physically impossible in the time frame that teachers have to personalize a lesson plan for approximately 30 students. It cannot be done. But at home? Oh, I can personalize every detail! I can make changes on a whim and I can respond to emotional needs so much more effectively than I ever could in the classroom. My children have grown. They enjoy doing their schoolwork (most days) knowing that adventure or free play is waiting for them. What started as a fight is now part of their routine. Sometimes they are eager to complete their math, and other days they procrastinate, but completing their work is rarely an issue anymore.

We would drive by their old elementary school in the early days of transitioning, and there would be sighs and longing to go back. We would talk about why we were homeschooling, and the benefits that brings them, and they’d generally agree but still be sad. Now, they can pass their elementary school and be thankful for the memories, but will say out loud how much they enjoy our adventures and don’t want to give that up. You got this.

So, you’ve made the decision to homeschool. Congratulations! You should be excited about what that will bring to your family. As you are planning and dreaming of the days ahead, think about your why. Why are you making this decision? I made this decision because I want my children to have a childhood, nurtured at home, and filled with learning adventures. I made this decision because I know my children better than anyone, and I want to nurture their souls and spirits. What’s your why?

In case you missed it, I believe in goal setting. Setting goals helps us define what we want, how we want it, and when we want it by. If you’re going to achieve great things, then goals are a must.

While the what of goal setting is important, the how is arguably even more important. It’s great knowing what you want to do, but if you don’t know how you will do it, is it still beneficial? This is the part where many of us tune out and are no longer interested in the goal setting process. And this is where many of us begin to fail. Avoid failure. Learn how to set your goals in a way that makes them achievable.

Are you still with me? I hope so. Let’s explore how to set goals so that you can truly achieve your goals.

Perhaps you’ve heard the acronym SMART Goals. This is a commonly used method that helps to narrow and define exactly what you want to achieve. It’s great to have a goal of “being healthy,” but if I am not more specific about that goal, I’m likely not going to achieve it. I need a SMART goal!

S-Specific: The first step to creating an achievable goal is to be specific about what you want to achieve. While being healthy is a great goal, it’s unlikely to be achieved because it is so broad. Instead, I may say I want to achieve a healthy weight. Now I have a more focused goal.

M-Measurable: After determining what exactly you want to achieve, you have to have a way to measure that achievement. How will you know you’ve done what you set out to do? I can measure weight loss, and to achieve a healthy weight, I need to lose 20 pounds.

A-Achievable: Now it’s time to evaluate how realistic this goal is. Is it possible, or have I possibly signed myself up for more than I can handle? How will I accomplish this goal? What is my plan? Using my weight loss example, it is possible with a plan and dedication to lose 20 pounds and meet my goal of a healthier version of me. I now need to formulate a specific plan to achieve this: make a menu, find an exercise program, and start implementing these changes into my daily routine.

R-Relevant: Why did I set this goal? Does it align with my vision and mission? Does it matter to me? Is this goal worth the time and effort it will take to achieve it? Does it benefit me and those around me? Is now the right time to pursue this goal? A relevant goal will answer yes to these questions and ones like it. This step helps to manage priorities and keep your goals in line with your big picture and family values.

T-Time: The final step to creating a SMART goal is time. How long will it take to achieve your goal? Not only does setting a time-limit to your goal help create urgency and motivate you, it helps to know what you need to do when. For example, I may say that I want to lose 20 pounds in 5 months. This helps me to create micro goals to evaluate my progress along the way. The time factor and target date of the goal helps you to stay focused on the overall goal, rather than becoming weighed down by the day to day activities that can easily crowd out the larger goal.

Have you used the SMART method of goal setting? I’d love to hear your response. What do you think about it? I often used this method with my middle school students to improve their reading and writing. Most found it helpful. Some were confused or frustrated, as can happen when learning any new process. I think by the end of the school year most kids at least appreciated it.

What does this look like for academics, more specifically, homeschooling? Good question.

Overall goal- I want my children to have a literature rich education.

Specific- I want my children to read classic literature, and nonfiction.

Measurable- Let’s focus on one school year at a time here. For early elementary, I want my children to read 25 new stories and 15 nonfiction books, for a total of 40 books during the school year.

Achievable- This is harder to measure, as books can vary in length. If my children choose picture books, this goal is too easy. If they choose all chapter books, this becomes more challenging, but achievable. I may have to adjust the goal depending on what they choose, but I think this is a good place to start.

Relevant- This goal is quite relevant to our education goals. Reading is a family value and key to our chosen education philosophy.

Time- I’m setting this goal for the school year. I will reevaluate at key points in the school year, (December, March) and determine if the goal needs to be adjusted.

I hope these examples inspire you as you dream, think, and plan for your homeschooling goals. I’d love to hear about your goals.